“Sorry, I’m busy.”
Three of the most annoying words in the English language. People love saying sorry when there’s no reason to say sorry (you don’t need to apologize), they fill space by talking about themselves (silence is okay!), and they love saying they’re busy. And when you put them together…take about rage. Let me set something straight: we are all busy, all the time. Busy working, busy with friends, busy playing video games, busy cooking, busy lounging on the couch, busy sleeping, busy traveling, busy driving, busy writing.
It doesn’t mean anything.
Talking to a friend you haven’t spoken to in a while and telling them you’ve been busy doesn’t mean anything. Most of us have cell phones that we can use to call, text, tweet, snap friends with. Don’t have time to call them and catch up? Send them a text message saying you’re thinking of them and hope to catch up soon. Simple as that.
Oh, but you feel guilty that you can’t spend an hour chatting with them? Listen, as a friend who’s been on both ends of this, I’d rather know that the person is thinking of me and has good intentions than to have silence on the other end. And vice versa! There are many times when I don’t have time for a phone call or coffee date but a few minutes of texting reinforces the relationship and connection.
If you haven’t talked to a friend in a while and they ask how you’ve been, tell them! Saying “I’ve been busy” doesn’t allow the conversation to go very far. Tell them you’ve been crushing it at work, climbing incredible mountains on the weekends, spending time with your partner, trying new recipes in the kitchen. 4 out of 5 dentists recommend this approach to having a conversation with your friend. I promise. And if you haven’t been climbing mountains or trying new recipes? Tell them you’ve been lounging on your sofa, have been playing video games, or have been reading a great new book. They’d rather hear that instead of “busy”. Or, if you must use the word, follow up with the things you’ve been doing.
What about at work?
Everyone is busy at work, that’s a given. Tell me something else. Have a sense of urgency and acknowledge that the other person’s work is as important as yours. There’s a reason their asking for you and your expertise or input so give it the attention it deserves. Be upfront in explaining that you have a few things to work on but can look at it in a certain time frame…and then stick to that.
Busy doesn’t show me that your work is very important or that you can manage many things at once. If anything, it tells me that many people like you and want your input, which is great. But, if you have so much work piled on that you’re truly that busy, it might be time to talk to your team lead about off loading some work or hiring another person.
There’s no excuse.
We are so connected, perhaps overly connected, in today’s world that you could probably be skydiving and still find a way to communicate with others. Being too busy to say hi means you’re choosing to not make an effort (and that’s okay too, but then don’t say you’re busy).
Saying you’re busy makes it sound like you don’t want to have a conversation. No one wants to be bothersome if someone is busy. Busy means other things are more important to focus on. Busy means I’m taking you away from something. And to that I say NOPE.
You’re not too busy to spend seven minutes shooting the shit. You’re not too busy to reply to a text saying you’re alive and working on a ground breaking discovery which is why you’ve been M.I.A. You’re not too busy to connect with others. You’re not too busy to look at your schedule and make time for those you care about.
I’ll bet you a cup of coffee that a year from now, five years from now, you won’t remember what work you were busy completing but you will remember the laughter that was shared over talking about light switches being entries to other worlds or a new, interactive exhibit that you and your friend got to experience together or kicking around a soccer ball with your kids. You’re not too busy.
Tell me, what has your beautiful, wild life been filled with lately?
Heh, like heather. 